Everything Goes

Change is the only constant in life --- Heraclitus

A few days ago, I was walking my dog and passed a car parked on the street with the back window rolled down. We’d been having a lot of spotty rain that day and it occurred to me that this could cause real damage if it wasn’t addressed. I sorta kinda knew who lived in the house. He was the husband of a women that I’d worked with years and years ago but I’d never met him. She’d also passed years and years ago but I often thought of her when I went this way. This slim connection helped push me through the discomfort of approaching a stranger’s home and the stranger inside. I knocked on the door. I must have looked a sight juggling my tiny dog who was straining against this trespass, water bottle, phone, and muddy remnants of a wild wandering vine that I’d plucked from the side of the road to transplant in my own yard. There was no response to the knocking and I hesitated before pressing the doorbell. A lovely tune chimed inside and I heard the familiar click-clack of dog nails on a wooden floor followed by the soft plod of human feet.

The door opened a crack and a beautiful golden retriever poked out its head. She (I guessed) darted her eyes back and forth expectantly between me and my tiny dog who was now pulling backwards out of her harness. Her owner, a thin elderly man, gently pulled the retriever back into the house and smiled at me.

“Hello,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know that your car window is down.”

“Oh shucks,” he replied as he walked out onto the front stoop closing the door behind him. “She (the dog) likes to stick her head out and I forgot to close it.”

We were now both making our way towards the car.

“How old is your little dog?” he asked.

“She just turned 10,” I said.

“She looks like a puppy.” He grinned and stooped a little to receive a curious nose sniff on his hand.

“I believe I worked with your wife.” I don’t know why I said this. The words just tumbled out of my mouth.

He looked at me with kind eyes. “Oh yes?”

“She was a lovely woman.” I offered. And she was, inside and out as they say.

Something flickered behind his gaze. His smile softened slightly at the corners.

We both regarded each other, as our individual memories of her surfaced and mingled to create a new one right there between us as we stood on the sidewalk.

“That was a while ago.” He said breaking this brief spell of unexpected intimacy.

“Time just goes, doesn’t it?” I said a bit too brightly.

“Everything goes,” he replied with a small resigned chuckle.

“Everything goes,” I repeated.

He made his way to the car and closed the window.

“Thank you so much for stopping by. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” I said. “Have a nice afternoon.”

I watched him make his way back up the walkway and into the house.

The door clicked behind him.

I walked home feeling awkward and oddly comforted at the same time. I was still trying to hold on to too many things (mentally and physically) including my dog who had decided that she would walk no further. I kissed the top of her furry little head and felt the familiar rush of endorphin soaked love. I glanced with a tinge of guilt at the muddy vine dangling from my fingers and hoped it would take to its new home. I stopped to smash my face into a gardenia bush heavy with creamy blossoms. The sweet sticky smell was intoxicating and filled me up to the brim with delight. A trio of summer free boys whizzed by on bikes with buckets and nets balanced on their handlebars and a mix of joy and sadness rippled through me. The double-sided coin of being human.

“Everything goes,” I thought to myself.

And this tiny mantra, so short in words yet infinite in meaning, kept repeating itself over and over and over again --- everything goes --- everything goes --- everything goes.

The good, the bad, the pleasure, the pain, the sublime, the mundane, the fair, the unfair --- it’s an even playing field with no hierarchy.

Already the scent of the gardenia had faded, the vine was looking pretty limp, and the headlong energy of the boys had swept through the air leaving behind faint traces of childhood.

I smiled while my heart broke a little and I quietly thanked the stranger who had given me this unwieldy reminder.

everything goes --- be grateful, everything goes --- be brave, everything goes --- be present

Everything goes --- so small, so gigantic, so true.

xo Morrey

PS: Down below you can ❤️ or comment on this piece. Think of it as a virtual hug or wave and it lets me know that you stopped by to say “hello.” The more we can connect these days the better. I know you’ve got a lot going on, so thanks for taking the time.

I appreciate you all more than you know.